Love at First Site, or Lust at First Site

All the movies swoon about finding your soul-mate. As the stories go, you have never met this person, but when you do, you'll instantly know that they're the one for you. Well, maybe not instantly know they're for you, but you'll know there's something special; you may be conflicted because you're already in a relationship, or about to get married, but in the end, you'll do what's right and join with your soul-mate.

In the real world, it doesn't happen that way.

The closest you'll get to having sparks fly when you first meet someone is what we call "lust at first site."

We all have biological drives and needs. Each of us has certain, how do you call it, standards that we look for. Red heads, tall, short, thin, curvy, etc. You see someone who falls in those catagories and BAM lust at first site. This is a biological impulse, not love.

Love comes after the passion no longer clouds the reason. Love is an intellectual exercise. You get to know a person and you realize that either they are compatable or not for you. Looks are fleating, it's what's on the inside that matters.

Are You In Love With Someone or Do You Love Someone?

I can think of no greater single cause of heartbreak that infatuation. Infatuation can also be known as "love at 1st sight" but this article we're going to call it something else. For the rest of this article, instead of infatuation think "falling in love."

Falling In Love
Falling in love is easy. Its done millions of times each and every day. People are, be default, lonely and alone. We're constantly wondering if we're alone in the cosmos. Does anyone know we exist? Suddenly, we see someone. Something about that person catches our eye. Something about us catches their eye. Sparks fly! We are alone no longer. We are one with our new beloved!

Falling in love is an emotional action. We are all programmed, at a genetic level, to seek out and multiply. While intellectual standards do apply, we all want, at a basic level, to have kids. That's why sex feels so good.

Time progresses. The emotional feeding of falling in love passes. This could take days or month, even years. It will pass. Now the relationship is at a crossroads. Do you choose to go your separate ways, or have you established an intellectual bond along with a new emotional bond. In all the time you have spent with your partner, did you share some similar interests, lifestyles, or life experiences? Did you enjoy their company? Chances are that you have a chance to form a bond of true love. True love comes from choice and action. You no longer are bound by the genetic driver urges and your thoughts and actions are based from your decisions. Do you choose to love this person?

Love Isn't Easy
Loving someone isn't easy like when you're in love. Loving someone is hard work! Whereas before you would drop everything for your beloved, now you think about yourself first. When you love someone, you actively choose to put their wants, needs, and feelings above your own. Does that mean that you become a floor-mat to them? No, just that you do need to take that special someone into account when you make plans for your day, your life.

Is It Worth It?
Is loving someone worth all the hard work and effort required to make a serious relationship last? If you are a good fit to your partner, I'll tell you this. There is no greater feeling in the world that of all the people in the world your Hun could have chosen to spend their lives with, they chose you. Isn't that enough?